LinCaya.M

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Mbabane, Hhohho, Swaziland
I am just another kid on the blog, trying to share my feelings with the world. i write about anything that comes to mind. Life has so much to give and too many lessons to teach. We learn, note & get inspired...NO POLITICS HERE SORRY!!!

Thursday, 22 March 2012

That Moment....HIV Test & results

i know i am not the only one in this field.

i know you are reading with a lot of interest because somehow you feel like me.

ever since, the HIV prevalence shot up, it's been a requirement that you go for an HIV test even for a small cough. i remember my first visit to my gynecologist, he told me he wanted to do a full body check including taking blood samples to the lab for testing including HIV. what baffled me though was the fact that he didn't take me for counselling, we had to do the tests right there and have the results in a weeks time.

he asked me if i had done the test before of which i responded to the negative. we did all the check ups and then i was off to the lab for the blood samples. well, i knew that someday i would have to do it but not now.

i went home uneasy, thinking about the outcome of the results as much as i knew i haven't been much of a naughty girl;). i got home and ran straight to my bedroom, took my diary and wrote a list of all my exes, circling my crazies and ticking sane ones...you know what i mean.

i waited for the week and there i was again heading to the clinic to get my results. i was sweating like a pig, nervous i thought i was going to die right there. i can't even recall how many times i visited the toilet for a pee and my face. the secretary called out my name and told me to get in handing me my file.


i dragged myself to the consultation room and i was so tempted to check the results for myself but then couldn't. i sat there next to the doctor, he was so calm and smiling. my heart was racing "am i negative" or  "am i positive." the doctor never gave a damn about how i was feeling he went on with his small talk. my knees were shaking, i couldn't respond to most of the things he was talking about and i was short of breath.

and then finally "are you ready for your test results".......the correct response was no but instead a yes came out. He opened the file and then looked at me and said "ok, these are your results." he ran read through the results in the file and then responded with "the tests results shows that you are HIV negative." 

i wanted to jump off my chair and kiss him. he was the bearer of good news in that moment. i vowed from there to keep myself healthy and go for HIV testing. 

i just wanted to share my experiences with you guys maybe you can inspire me as well by sharing your stories as well.  hope you will go for your HIV test and no matter the results.

love your life and do the right thing.





i had visited my brother and sister in law these Easter holidays just to relax and be with family. while we were sitting in their lounge, my attention was drawn by the weekly South African Drum magazine with a young girl on the cover who traveled to Johannesburg  in search for her big break in the music industry. this was a sad story for me, knowing the music industry and what goes on there i felt pity for her, living in the rural area and hoping she will make it big by entering a competition, well she won the music competition.


in her story she mentions that she worked as a backing vocalist for some of the South African artists then she was introduced to parties and wild sex. that is just the whole package of fame anyway.she slept around, got sick then she went to test for HIV only to find that she was positive. she thanked her mother for the support through everything and now she is involved in motivational speaking, warning the youth and telling them what she got up to and how she contracted the virus.


i truly respect her for coming out and telling her story the way she did because 80% of youth right this moment is fighting for fame and fortune yet they are not ready for it. some will say the girls are throwing themselves right at us, yes that is going to happen but you should control yourself, have values and principles you will respect. if you can go around asking these celebrities how many of them go for an annual HIV test, 95% will tell you they do not. it might be because they are scared or they tell themselves we are all going to die anyway, so why bother.


i pity this girl in search for a big break she contracted HIV, at the same time i commend her for being strong and warning other girls. however, she could have used a condom although she was a young virgin easily deceived by what she was exposed to.


i have been in the music industry for the past 3 years and believe, i know what she is talking about. its the name of the game. men throw themselves at women and women throw themselves at men. we party hard and have wild sex, risking our lives for sexual pleasure that lasts for 10 minutes or even less.


i just wish these celebrities could be role models get tested and respect themselves.


however, HIV is not a death sentence.

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